Post by Val Emerald on Jun 12, 2021 13:07:16 GMT -5
The Jew Producer: Hello, Fanfic readers. In this very first episode of this new series, Two new housemates will be joining the show. Will they have personalities of their own? Will Captain Hero's dream finally come true? Will someone be kissed? Will someone be killed? Temporarily? Read and find out! Drawn together and its characters belong to dave jeser and matt silverstein, double hemm, roughdraft studios, and comedy partners. However, The two new housemates belong to the author of this fanfiction of course. Enjoy.
Captain Hero:(Confessional)(Frustrated) God! This household has gotten so repetitive and boring! those two hot chicks are fighting over the same stuff!
(in the hallway, Foxxy and Clara are arguing)
Foxxy:(Angry) God don't hate all blacks, ya dumb bitch!
Clara: Bless your heart, Foxxy. But god considers us white people as the more pure and virtuous.
Foxxy: That's some fucked up bullshit!
Clara: No wonder God favors us over you people. You black people get angry and say bad words a lot.
Foxxy:(Angry) The fuck you say?!!
Captain Hero:(Confessional) The gay guy kept moaning and bitching about not rescuing his boyfriend yet.
In the living room, Captain Hero and the forlorn Xandir are sitting on a couch.
Xandir:(Sadly sighs) I miss my boyfriend. I can't believe I haven't rescued him yet.
Captain Hero:(Confessional) And Wooldoor's being an annoying whatever the hell he is as usual.
In the living room, the mischievous Spanky with an airhorn chuckles as he stands on the wall and waits until Wooldoor walks down the stairs. As Wooldoor walks by Spanky, Spanky blows the airhorn at him which makes his eyes pop in a wacky cartoon way, his body jumped (With springy legs) so high that he hits the ceiling and then falls down on the ground turning flat as a pancake.
Wooldoor:(Farts) Aw! I shit my pants!
Spanky laughs.
Jew Producer: Attention housemates! Please come to the living room immediately!
The housemates all head to the living room to sit on the couches. The jew Producer then comes over to talk to them face to face.
Toot:(Irritated) God damn it!! What the hell does he want now?!
Jew Producer:(To Toot) Glad you asked, Fatty. (To the housemates) I've decided to let you all know that this show has been getting low rating lately. The executives and I had a little talk about it and We've decided to have two new housemates to spice things up.
Most of the housemates groan in disappointment.
Wooldoor:(Excited) Whee! New housemates! I love making new friends!
Spanky:(Angrily) This sucks dirty donkey dicks!
Captain Hero:(Pouting) I agree! We don't need no cousin polly oliver or scrappy dick!
Jew Producer: I think You'll change your mind after I tell you this, Captain Hero. The new housemates will be a twelve year old girl and a donkey.
Captain Hero:(Gasps in joy) Really?! Is my dream coming true at last?!
Xandir: I think we should give them both a chance. Who knows? They might end up being great additions.
Foxxy: Xandir's right! We gotta help them feel welcome.
Almost everyone nods. Spanky just folds his arms and frowns.
Jew Producer: Well, I'm glad everyone took the news well. Get ready to meet your new housemates!
A small lanky pale girl who has a gap between her teeth and long straight green hair with black lines on it is in a white room with various colored polka dots on the wall adjusting a lamp on a drawer chest. She's also wearing a black beanie cap, green hoodie, and long purple pants. She's a parody of Edd from "Ed, Edd, n Eddy". A jazzy whistling tune is played in the background.
Jew Producer:(Voice over) Abbi! A twelve year old nerdy girl that people often mistake for a boy!
Abbi:(With a high nasal voice) Is this camp? If it is, It's becoming a really bizarre one.
The next scene shows a grumpy old gray donkey wearing a gray sweatshirt and sweatpants in a black and white 50's sitcom kitchen with cheery 50's sitcom music. He's a parody of bojack horseman and old man from "Pawn stars"
Jew Producer:(Voice over) And Mr Donkey! A beloved 50's sitcom star who's now a grumpy old bastard!
Mr Donkey:(Sourly) Ugh! Turn off that god awful music! I hated it then and I hate it now!
Jew producer: Together, The new new additions to the household will be the massive change up!
Later, Two cars are parked outside of the household. Abbi gets out of one of the cars carrying her four huge gym bags.
Abbi's mother in the car: Have Fun at camp, Abigail!
Abbi's Father in the car: And read lots of books!
Abbi's mother: We love you!
Abbi: I love you too, Mother and father!
Abbi then waves at her parents as they leave. Abbi then carries her bags to the household.
Abbi:(Puzzled) That's strange. For a campsite, There aren't a lot of trees around. And the house looks more like a contemporary mansion than a cabin...
Mr Donkey then gets out of the other car with his agent.
Agent: Now Mr Donkey, I know that this show isn't exactly your forte but being on a show like this will help the younger generation learn what a comedic legend you are!
Mr Donkey:(Grumpy) Just get me to a god damn chair to sit on.
Abbi and Mr Donkey then walk to the household door step. Mr Donkey then bangs on the door. The Jew producer opens the door.
Jew Producer: Welcome to the drawn together household and camp. I'm the Jew Producer and you must be Abbi.
Abbi shyly nods
Jew Producer: And you must be the legendary Mr Donkey.
Mr Donkey sourly grumbles.
Jew Producer: Lets get you fuck wads- I mean new residents settled.
The Jew Producer then leads Abbi and Mr Donkey inside.
Jew Producer: Alright housemates! Meet your new roommates!
The housemates all see the new housemates but before anyone else could do anything, Captain Hero rushes to Abbi and Mr Donkey to greet them.
Captain Hero:(Lecherously) Hey there, Sexy things. Name's Captain Hero. Care for a little sexy time with this super?
Mr Donkey:(Angrily) Fuck off!
Abbi then runs off to hide behind a couch.
Abbi:(Thinking in observation) This is more unusual. Practically everyone in this camp are adults. I'm not sure how old that orange feline and that male that looks like a banana are, though...
Captain Hero:(Confessional) When I saw the twelve year old girl and donkey, I thought to myself "Man! That is a sweet fuckable ass!". And the twelve year old girl looks pretty hot, too.
Abbi continues to observe everyone in the room until she sees Clara.
Abbi:(Thinking) Hmm. That woman who looks like a princess seems harmless and approachable.
Abbi then shyly walks away from the couch and approaches Clara.
Abbi:(Politely) Hello madam, I'm Abbi.
Clara notices Abbi and puts her hands on her own knees to get to Abbi's level.
Clara:(Kindly) Oh hello, little girl. I'm Princess Clara.
Abbi: It's very nice to meet you, Clara. I'm afraid I'm very unfamiliar with this campsite. Could you show me around this place?
Clara:(Concerned) Sweetie, I'm afraid you're mistaken. This isn't camp. It's a reality television show.
Abbi:(Shocked) It's a WHAT??!! Good lord! My parents dropped me off to a reality television show!! Excuse me for one second.
Abbi then approaches the Jew Producer.
Abbi:(To the Jew Producer) Excuse me, sir. I'm afraid there's been a mistake. I though that this show was camp. So I'm going to call my parents so that they could pick me up.
Jew Producer: I'm afraid you can't get out of this show. Your parents signed the contract that says you're going to be on this show as a permanent housemate.
Abbi:(Defeated) Fine.
Abbi sullenly walks back to Clara
Clara: Would you still like me to show you around?
Abbi:(Sulking)... Yeah.
Meanwhile, The Rest of the housemates introduce themselves to Mr Donkey.
Foxxy:(Flirty towards Mr Donkey) Hi there. I's Foxxy love. I'm here if ya ever need some loving.
Mr Donkey:(Cantankerously) Scram, You harlot!
Foxxy: Whatevers.
Spanky then Approaches Mr Donkey)
Spanky:(Frowns at Mr Donkey) Hey, old man! The name's Spanky and I just want to say that I think your old show sucks!
Mr Donkey: That makes two of us, Porky porn.
Toot then bitterly approaches Mr Donkey)
Toot: So You're the legendary Mr Donkey! You may have been famous in the 50's but I've been famous since the 1920's!
Mr Donkey: All I see now is just a bitter old fatass.
Toot:(Angrily) What the hell did you just call me?!
Toot is about to attack Mr Donkey but Xandir stops her.
Xandir: Don't, Toot! It's not worth it! (To Mr Donkey) I'm so sorry. I'm Xandir and if it helps you feel better, I think your show was amazing.
Mr Donkey: What the hell are you wearing, you fairy?
Xandir:(Gasps) You're so mean!
Xandir cries on toot's shoulder.
Toot:(Putting her arm around Xandir and glaring at Mr Donkey) You know, You're no sunshine and lollypops either, asshole!
Both Ling Ling and Wooldoor (With stars in their eyes) happily walk to Mr Donkey.
Ling Ling: Mistel Donkey! Mistel Donkey!
Wooldoor: I'm Wooldoor Sockbat and this is Ling Ling! We're your biggest fans!
Mr Donkey: What the hell are you?
Wooldoor: I'm a sockbat and Ling Ling's a battle monster.
Mr Donkey:(Annoyed) Eh, Go away! I'm trying to find a place to sit!
Mr Donkey grumpily walks past Ling Ling and Wooldoor to find a place to sit. Ling Ling sadly droops his ears.
Ling Ling: Aw.
Wooldoor:(Pats Ling Ling's head with assurance) Don't worry, Ling Ling. I'm sure Mr Donkey will grow to be our new friend!
Ling Ling smiles and his ears perk back up. Meanwhile, Clara shows Abbi around the house. She first shows Abbi the girls bedroom with a new green bed, green drawers, and green bookshelf next to toot's bed.
Clara:(Pointing at the green bed) This is your new bed. It's not as extravagant as mine but I'm sure you can add your own touches to it.
Clara then shows Abbi the confessionals.
Clara:(Confessional) When I met little Abigail, I felt like It was my mission to be a nurturing motherly figure to that little girl. I'm willing to be a positive influence on her and teach her the ways of god so that she won't be a sinner... like everyone else.
Clara:(To Abbi) These are the confessionals. they're like diaries but instead of writing on a journal, You say how you feel in from of one of the cameras.
Clara then shows Abbi the kitchen and pool. Clara then takes Abbi outside to meet her animal friends.
Clara: Abigail, These are my animal friends.
Abbi:(Smiling and Waving) Hello.
The animals just stare at Abbi for a moment. An orange bunny then hops over to Abbi and snuggles on her feet. Abbi then picks up the bunny, holds him, and pets him with an adoring gaze and smile.
Abbi:(Confessional)(Adjusting the camera) Is this on? At first, I was appalled that I joined this reality television show instead of camp. However, I made a new friend and confidant in Ms Clara. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her.
Clara later takes Abbi back inside where they encounter Foxxy in the kitchen.
Clara:(Gently holding Abbi back) Careful, Abigail. This kind of person is from the african jungle. those kinds of people tend to be angry a lot.
Foxxy:(Annoyed) Clara, Stop filling that poor girl's head with bullshit.
Abbi then looks at Clara with disbelief.
Abbi:(Confessional)(Dismayed) Then again, There are two other women in the household...
While Foxxy and Clara continue to argue, Abbi decides to cautiously walk upstairs and into the hallway until she sees Toot coming out of the bathroom.
Abbi:(To toot) Hello, I'm Abbi.
Toot:(Smiles) oh hey, kid. The name's Toot.
Abbi:(Politely) It's nice to meet you, Toot. Is there anything I can do to help you out?
Toot: Sure. Would you like to help me cut myself?
Abbi:(Disturbed) Um, I'm good. Thank you for asking, though.
Toot: Suit yourself.
Toot takes a knife out of her dress and cuts her leg. The unsettled Abbi then walks past Toot.
Abbi:(confessional) Well, That encounter was disturbing...
Abbi Continues to walk in the hallway until she sees Ling Ling.
Abbi:(To Ling Ling) Hello, Little kitty. I've never seen your kind of feline breed before. I'm Abbi.
Ling Ling:(Speaking Japorean) Ring Ring no house pet! Ring Ring Battle monster!
Abbi: I'm afraid I don't quite understand your language. Is Ring Ring your name?
Ling Ling:(Japorean) Yes! I am a strong killer of other battle monsters! And give children this!
Ling Ling then jumps up with flashing lights in the background which makes Abbi's eyes twitch.
Abbi: Oh shit.
Abbi then falls down and has a seizure. Later, Abbi wakes up in the hallway feeling confused.
Abbi:(Confessional) Good Lord! I never knew some animals could do that!
Abbi then cautiously walk downstairs to check its surroundings. She looks around to see if any other housemate is in the living room but she doesn't see anyone which prompts her to steadily walk toward one of the couches and sit on it. She sees some magazines on the coffee table and reads some of them.
Abbi:(Disgusted) Good lord, Are there any magazines in here that doesn't have any male or female anatomy in it?
Abbi Then puts the last magazine down and walks toward the bookshelf to observe and memorize where the books are. She sees her bags near the door entrance which prompts her to walk toward them and retrieve them. She then carries them to the bottom of the staircase and tries to figure out how many bags she should take to her room at a time. Wooldoor then enters the household through the front door and notices Abbi looking at her bags in puzzlement.
Wooldoor:(Confessional)(Remorseful) When I came back to the household and saw the twelve year old girl all alone, I realized that I've spent so much time trying to befriend Mr Donkey that I didn't notice her being left out! (Smiles in determination) Well she doesn't need to worry about being left out anymore!
Wooldoor then rushes to Abbi which startles her.
Wooldoor:(Enthusiastic) Hi! I'm Wooldoor Sockbat and I hope to be your new friend!
Abbi (Startled by Wooldoor's sudden appearance) grabs all four of her bags and runs upstairs to the girls bedroom which saddens Wooldoor.
Wooldoor:(confessional)(Forlorn) I guess neither of the new housemates likes me.
After catching her breath in the bedroom, Abbi unpacks some of her books and clothes from her bags and puts them on in her green shelf and drawers. Foxxy then enters the bedroom.
Abbi;(Notices Foxxy) Oh hello. I'm Abbi.
Foxxy:(Gently) Hey girl, The name's Foxxy Love. Sorry I's lost my temper in front of ya.
Abbi:(Cordial) It's alright. I completely understand why you lost you temper.
Foxxy: Cause I'm black?
Abbi: No. It's because Clara said something insensitively racist.
Foxxy: Yeah, Clara can get on my nerves sometimes but she's not really all that bad. She only like that cause of her daddy.
Abbi: Understood. With all due respect, You seem promiscuous.
Foxxy: (Regretful) Girl, You have no idea...
Abbi:(Remorseful) If it helps you feel better, You also seem like a sensible kind woman.
Foxxy: Thank you, boo (Touches Abbi's head but Abbi flinches.)
Abbi: Could you please not touch my head?
Foxxy:(Concerned) Sorry, girl.
Abbi: It's wonderful to meet you, Ms love.
Foxxy:(Smiles at Abbi) You too, baby girl. How's your time in the household so far?
Abbi:(Dismayed) So far, pretty hectic. Just about everyone I met is insane. One of them even gave me a seizure!
Foxxy: Ling Ling? Yeah, He can be a bit of a handful sometimes. Quick warning, Ling Ling has a pretty high kill count.
Abbi just nods which concerns Foxxy.
Abbi: If it's alright with you, Could you show me who the male housemates are like? I tend to be very distrustful towards the male gender.
Foxxy:(Kindly) Of course, Abbi.
Foxxy then leads Abbi out of the bedroom and heads downstairs to the living room where Xandir and Captain Hero are sitting on the couch.
Foxxy:(Introducing Abbi to Captain Hero and Xandir) Abbi, This is Xandir and Captain Hero.
Captain Hero:(Sleazily leers at Abbi) I believe We've already met...
Xandir:(to Abbi) Hi sweetie! It's nice to meet you! Although I've got to say that your outfit is so last decade.
Abbi hides behind Foxxy's leg and shyly extends her hand toward Xandir.
Abbi:(Shyly) It's nice to meet you as well... Xandir, Is that right?
Xandir:(Shakes Abbi's hand) It sure is! Aww! You're so adorable and polite!
Abbi:(Quietly) Thank you.
Foxxy: I's introducing Abbi to everybody so that she'd be more comfortable in her own surroundings.
Xandir: Aww! That's very sweet of you, Foxxy. Hope to see you around soon, Abbi.
Abbi shyly nods. Foxxy then takes Abbi to the pool table where Spanky's playing.
Abbi:(Whispers to Foxxy) Ms love, Is Xandir a homosexual?
Foxxy:(Whispers to Abbi) Yep, He real gay.
Abbi: Sounds alright to me.
Foxxy then introduces Abbi to Spanky.
Foxxy: Abbi, This is Spanky.
Spanky scratches is crotch with one of his hands before extending it toward Abbi.
Spanky:(Smiles) Hey kid. Nice to meet ya.
Abbi:(Hesitant) Um, Could you shake one of my hands with your other hand?
Spanky: Sure. (Puts his other hand on his bottom and farts on it before he extends it to the disgusted Abbi and laughs.)
Abbi:(Pinches her nose) On second thought, I'd rather just wave.
Spanky:(Laughs) Man, you are such a dork! (Laughs more)
Foxxy then leads Abbi upstairs to the hallway.
Abbi:(Appalled) Is Spanky always like this?
Foxxy:(Laughs) Yeah, He a riot.
Abbi: Out of curiosity, what is the male individual with yellow skin and wings on his head like?
Foxxy: Wooldoor? Girl, He always a ray of sunshine! He may be kooky but that's just his way of saying he wants to make people happy.
Abbi:(Remorseful) I'm afraid our first impressions on each other weren't up to par. Wooldoor tried to introduce himself to me but I just ran off.
Foxxy:(Nurturing) Well, If you wanna make things right with him, You's got to apologize. The sweet little boy just wanted to be your new friend.
Abbi: That would be fair. Do you know where he might be?
Foxxy: I think he might be in the boys bedroom. Want me to lead ya there?
Abbi: Sure. Thank you.
Foxxy then leads Abbi to the boys bedroom. Abbi knocks on the door.
Abbi: Hello? Is anyone in there?
Wooldoor:(Sadly) Just me...
Abbi:(Whispering to Foxxy) Is that Wooldoor?
Foxxy nods.
Abbi: Would it be alright if I come in?
Wooldoor:(Melancholic) Okay.
Abbi then slowly opens the door. Foxxy stays behind and gives Abbi a thumbs up. Abbi slowly enters the bedroom and sees the sad Wooldoor sitting on his bed.
Abbi:(Quietly) Excuse me, Wooldoor?
Wooldoor Gloomily looks at Abbi.
Abbi:(Regretful) I apologize for running off like that. It was very uncalled for of me to do that? Is there anything I can do to make this right?
Wooldoor:(Starts to smile) Well, We could start over.
Abbi: Sounds good to me. I'm Abbi. (Smiles and extends her hands towards Wooldoor)
Wooldoor:(Perks up) Hi Abbi! I'm Wooldoor Sockbat and I hope to be your new friend! (Happily shakes her hand)
Abbi: And I'd be happy to be your new friend.
Wooldoor:(Happy) Whee! I made a new friend!
Abbi: Out of curiosity, How old are you?
Wooldoor:(Gasps) A sockbat never reveals his age! (Smiles in amusement) Just kidding. I'm 13.
Abbi: I'm 12.
Wooldoor: Wanna go swimming?
Abbi: Sure.
Later, Both Abbi and Wooldoor are outside near the pool wearing their swimsuits. Wooldoor's swimsuit is his usual blue and white striped old fashioned one piece while Abbi's swimsuit is a green one piece swimsuit with a black swim cap. Abbi's also carrying her blue bag.
Wooldoor:(Excited) You ready to hop in?
Abbi:(Smiles at Wooldoor) Once I get my towel and goggles, I'll be all ready.
Abbi then Unzips her bag to look for her goggles and towel. While she's looking for them, Some pottery wires fall out of her bag.
Wooldoor:(Noticing the wires) What are the wires for?
Abbi:(Picking the wires back up and putting them back in her bag.) They are for... um... pottery.
Wooldoor:(Smiles) Neato!
The relieved Abbi then continues to look for her towel and goggles until a tommy gun fall out of her bag.
Wooldoor: (Growing scared) What's that gun for?...
Abbi:(Picking up her gun and putting her bag down in resignation) Alright. I guess I can't lie to you about this one. I'm a member of a mafia gang that puts hits on depraved men. (Coldly points her gun at Wooldoor) I'm sorry to do this but I am going to have to kill you.
Wooldoor gasps.
Wooldoor:(Tearfully begs on his knees) Please don't kill me!!! (Suddenly changes his mood) Are you as turned on as I am right now?
Abbi then angrily points her gun at him closer.
Wooldoor:(Starts crying again) I'm sorry! I say crazy things when I'm upset! Is your hair really green?
Abbi: Well, no.
Wooldoor:(Still crying and begging) I know you don't want anyone to know about you working in a mafia gang! I promise not to tell anyone about this! Just please don't kill me!!!
Abbi then sees Wooldoor's scared teary eyes for a moment before she puts her gun back in her bag.
Abbi: Normally I don't do this, but... (points her finger at Wooldoor with threat) I promise not to kill you if you don't tell anyone about me working in an organized criminal gang.
Wooldoor:(Gasps and tearfully smiles) Thank you for sparing me, Abbi! You won't regret it!
Wooldoor then hugs Abbi in gratitude which makes her flinch. After he stops hugging her, Abbi Threateningly points her finger at him again.
Abbi: Not. a. word.
Wooldoor: I promise! I promise! So do you still wanna go swimming?
Abbi: Sure. (Finds her goggles and towel)
Abbi and Wooldoor then hop in the pool)
Abbi:(Softly) I apologize for pointing my gun at you.
Wooldoor:(Smiles) It's okay. We've all done things that are a lot more fucked up than that.
Abbi then looks at Wooldoor in bafflement. Later, After Abbi and wooldoor are done playing in the pool, They both head back inside wearing their towels over their swimsuits and they see Foxxy sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen.
Foxxy:(To Abbi and Wooldoor) Hey y'all! How you doing?
Wooldoor:(Enthusiastic) Just great! Abbi and I are new friends!
Foxxy:(Proudly) Aww! I'm so happy to hear that, boo! I's about to order pizza. What would you like?
Wooldoor: Hawaiian! Hawaiian!
Foxxy:(To Wooldoor) Coming right up! (To Abbi) What would you like, Baby girl?
Abbi:(Politely) Just cheese with mushrooms and pesto, please?
Foxxy: Alrighty!
Abbi: Ms Love?
Foxxy: Yeah, Girl?
Abbi:(Softly) Thank you for helping me out.
Foxxy:(Warmly) Anytime, Baby.
Abbi: I'm going to unpack in the bedroom. I'll see you guys at supper.
Wooldoor:(Waves) See you later, Abbi!
Wooldoor:(Confessional)(Cheerful) One new friend down! One more to go! Whee!
Abbi heads back to the girls bedroom to finish unpacking her books and clothes. She then puts her empty fish tank from one of her bags on top of her shelf. After she changes into her normal clothes in the bathroom, Abbi heads back downstairs to join the rest of the housemates in the kitchen when the doorbell rings.
Toot: I'll get them! (Gives Spanky a threatening glare) Just so I can make sure that Spanky doesn't shit on them!
Spanky: Hey! It's What I do!
Toot then gets the pizza boxes and brings them to the kitchen. While everyone else is having their pizza slices, Mr Donkey begrudgingly gets a slice and goes to the announcing speaker.
Mr Donkey:(Angrily) Hey! Producer! I think this show is stupid and everyone's a fucking idiot! I quit!
Jew Producer:(Through the speaker) I'm afraid you can't do that. The contract says-
Mr Donkey: Fuck the contract! I don't need to take this shit! I'm old!
Jew Producer: You'll get paid if you stay...
Mr Donkey:(Begrudgingly) Fine! It beats having to be with my dumbass son anyway!
Later on, After the housemates have pizza, they (Sans Abbi and Mr Donkey) All get drunk on beer which prompts the annoyed Mr Donkey to go to his bed early. Abbi also tries to sneak upstairs to the girls bedroom but the drunk Captain Hero snatches her and carries the fidgeting Abbi to the boys bedroom before he sloppily drops her on the floor.
Captain Hero:(Drunk and slurring) Hey there, little boy. I am so gonna fuck you so hard right now!
Captain Hero tries to grab and kiss Abbi but Abbi swiftly runs behind him, Hops on his slumping back, Grabs a pottery wire from her pant pocket, and strangles him to death with it. She then quickly grabs a garbage bag and cleaning tools from one of her gyms bags, Puts Hero's dead body in the garbage bag, Cleans the blood off of the floor, and drops the garbage bag from the window. She then runs downstairs to the outside of the household, grabs a shovel from the shed, and buries the body near the garden. When Abbi heads back inside, She cautiously walks by the drunk housemates in the living room and sees Wooldoor talking to Toot.
Wooldoor:(Drunk) You are never going to believe what just happened to me!
Toot:(Drunk) Oooh! What?
Wooldoor: Just today I met a new friend, Abbi...
Toot: Hey! I met someone named Abbi too!
Wooldoor: So Abbi and I were about to be in the pool and I found out that she's part of a-
Before Wooldoor could finish his sentence, Abbi (In a state of panic) grabs his face and kisses him on his mouth which surprises him at first, But he then kisses her back.
Wooldoor:(Confessional)(Singing) What was that kissing my mouth? It tastes like mushrooms and pesto. She almost killed me but now she's kissing me. A mobster's mouth.
Clara then interrupts Wooldoor in the confessional.
Clara: Wooldoor sweetie, It's been done.
Clara:(Confessional) When Foxxy and I kissed, It was hot. But when Abigail and Wooldoor kissed, It was just weird.
After kissing Wooldoor for a minute, Abbi stops the kiss. Wooldoor then passes out before Abbi runs to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Abbi:(Confessional)(Makes a disgusted groan) Beer and pizza do not taste well together! At least it would be less work than having all of the housemates sleep with the fishes.
After brushing her teeth, Abbi goes to her bed and reads one of her books from her shelf. Meanwhile, The drunk Spanky goes to the kitchen to speak to the drunk Clara.
Spanky:(Flirtatious) Hey babe, I just want to say that you're one sexy as fuck chick!
Clara:(Giggles) You're so bad, Spanky!
Spanky: Hey, That's why you dated me, Princess. I'm one bad mother fucker.
Clara:(Giggles) You're a pig.
Spanky: I sure am, babe. I sure am.
END