Post by Val Emerald on Jan 1, 2022 13:36:59 GMT -5
The change up ep 6: Comes donkey doo doo
The Jew producer: hello fanfic readers and welcome to another episode of the change up. In this episode, our new old housemate, Mr Donkey is going to be visited by his hillbilly son and grandson. Meanwhile, our most prudent housemate, Princess Clara gets arrested for public indecency. Drawn together and its characters belong to Dave jeser and Matt Silverstein, double hemm, roughdraft studios, and comedy partners. Abbi, Mr donkey, Portly pop, and Donkey doo doo are this author’s original characters. Enjoy.
Mr Donkey:(confessional)(glowers at the camera) ever since I joined this household, I’ve been surrounded by no good young whippersnappers! If that’s not enough, I keep getting pestered by that annoying yellow thing and that orange rat with language I don’t even understand!
In the household living room, Mr Donkey (sitting on his recliner) is flipping channels on the tv with his remote when Wooldoor and Ling Ling eagerly walk toward him.
Wooldoor:(Cheerfully waves) hi, Mr Donkey!
Mr Donkey soon glares and grunts at Wooldoor and Ling Ling.
Ling Ling:(Japorean) Ring Ring and Woordool have a question to ask you. What is your family like?
Wooldoor: Yeah, What were your parents like? Are ya married? Do you have any little donkeys? Do you have any GRAND donkeys?
Ling Ling:(Japorean) and if you have any family members, are any one of them honorable? (Turns lecherous) or available?
Mr Donkey:(angrily) None of this is any one of your businesses! So scram!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(sadly looks down) Fine. Have it your way.
Ling Ling and Wooldoor sadly walk away from Mr Donkey.
The Jew producer:(Announcing through the speakers) Attention, Housemates! Someone’s relatives will be visiting the household.
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then look at each other in wonder.
Foxxy:(confessional)(clenches her fists in excitement) baby, I hopes that it’s Foxxy’s poppa! Foxxy hasn’t seen him since that foster care episode!
Clara:(confessional)(hopefully smiles) I hope that it’s father who’s visiting and not my super retarded cousin, bleh.
Mr donkey:(confessional)(bitterly) my son and grandson BETTER not be visiting this hell hole! Them visiting this household would make my already godawful life worse!
Wooldoor:(confessional)(excited) I hope it’s one of MY relatives that’s visiting! (Then looks down in sadness) oh yeah, that’s right. My entire family died from the sockbat genocide…
Abbi(with blue hair):(smiles in unease) I sincerely hope that it’s just my grandmother that is visiting and not my parents. I love them both but I’m not sure how they’ll react if they find out that they inadvertently sent me to be in a reality television show.
Ling Ling:(confessional)(japorean)(smiles) ring ring hopes that father’s visiting! I can’t wait to tell him how much I have improved as a battle monster!
Later, the housemates stand outside of the household in the doorway waiting for the visiting relatives. A dark blue pick up truck then arrives and parks in the driveway across from them.
Mr donkey:(looks at the truck in horror) are you fucking shitting me?!
An overweight grey donkey with a black mane wearing a white tank top and long blue jeans and a small grey donkey with a black mane wearing a red cap, red short sleeved t-shirt, and blue pants walk out of the truck and walk toward the housemates.
Larger donkey:(jovially smiles while speaking with a southern accent) howdy y’all. I is portly pop, your donkey roommate’s son. Puts his arm around the smaller donkey’s shoulder) this is my son, donkey doo doo. (Sees mr donkey which prompts him to walk over to him and give him a hug) and how’s my daddy doing?!
Mr donkey sourly grunts in response.
Portly:(chuckles at mr donkey as he stops hugging him) I see you’re still your normal cranky self. Am I right? (Notices the rest of the housemates) and who are these fine looking people that you’re living with?
Hero:(lecherously towards portly and his son) hi, sexy creatures. Name’s captain hero and I think you both look fine too…
The annoyed Foxxy then pushes captain hero away from portly and his son.
Foxxy:(politely towards portly and his son) hi. I’s Foxxy love. It’s nice to meet y’all.
Wooldoor:(cheerfully chimes in) she’s the least retarded one in our group!
Clara:(stern) wooldoor! That’s a very rude word to say in front of our guests!
Foxxy:(rolls her eyes at Clara) says the girl who calls her cousin a retard on a regular basis.
Clara:(ignores Foxxy while she cordially approaches the guests) hello, cattle folk. I’m princess Clara and I’m the most wholesome of our group.
Foxxy:(mutters to herself in annoyance) whatever the fuck helps her sleep at night…
Xandir:(jovially towards portly and his son) hi. I’m xandir. It’s nice to meet you.
Toot:(indifferently towards portly and his son) yeah. Hi. I’m toot as if anyone cares.
Spanky:(waves at the guests in boredom) hi. The name’s spanky.
Wooldoor:(enthusiastically waves at the guests) hi, new friends! I’m Wooldoor sockbat and Ling Ling and I are mr donkey’s biggest fans!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(joyfully bows to portly and his son) it’s a great honor to meet family of my comedy idol.
Abbi:(formally towards portly and his son) hello, gentlemen. I’m Abbi. It’s very nice to meet you.
Portly:(smiles) it’s very nice to meet y’all. (eagerly spreads his arms) well, what’re you guys waiting for? Lets all head in!
The housemates and donkey guests all head inside the household.
Later in the living room, portly and donkey doo doo are sitting in a couch with Wooldoor and Ling Ling eagerly sitting next to them as portly’s showing them a family album. The rest of the housemates sit on the other couch and chairs as they watch the donkey guests in curiosity and mr donkey’s glaring at his donkey family as he’s sitting on his recliner.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(eagerly points at one of the pictures in the album) is that a picture of mistel donkey when he was young?
Portly:(smiles at ling ling) why, that’s a picture of my daddy when he was three. He used to go all doody everywhere on his pasture.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(fascinated) wow. My father would never let me do that.
Wooldoor(bounces in anticipation) tell us more about your daddy!!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(excited) yeah! Tell us!
Portly:(chuckles at ling ling and wooldoor) you guys are big fans of my daddy, aren’t ya?
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then smile and nod at portly in confirmation.
Portly:(genially smiles) okay, here’s another funny story about him. One time when my daddy, momma, and I went to a family friend’s wedding, daddy ate a broccoli salad just before we left home. By the time the priest says “if anyone doesn’t want this couple to get married, speak now or forever hold your piece.”, my daddy just lets out this huge fart that sounds like a cannon.
Captain hero, toot, spanky, ling ling, and wooldoor then burst out in laughter while Foxxy, Clara, xandir, and abbi look at the donkeys in bafflement and mr donkey glower at portly in rage.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(eagerly smiles at portly) poltry pop, out of curiosity, what is mistel donkey’s first name?
Wooldoor:(enthusiastically) ooh! Please tell us his name! Tell us!
Mr donkey:(growls at portly in threat) portly, don’t you fucking dare!
Portly:(cheerfully) well, since you two beavers are so eager to know, my daddy’s first name is “jackass”!
Mr donkey:(embarrassed and furious) portly, you fucking blabber mouth!!
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then gasp in excitement while Abbi looks at the donkeys in bafflement and the rest of the housemates laugh.
Abbi:(befuddled) jackass?
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) that’s mr donkey’s first name! Isn’t it great?!
Mr donkey:(angrily) no, it’s not! It’s an embarrassment!
Portly:(smiles at mr donkey in assurance) aw, daddy, your first name’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Wooldoor:(obliviously smiles at mr donkey) yeah, it’s who you are!
Spanky:(laughing) I’ll say!
Most of the housemates then laugh at mr donkey again.
Spanky:(confessional)(laughing) man, having that old donkey’s relatives around is great! They’re making the household smell rancid, make food that really makes me take disgusting shits, and say hilariously offensive things to people!
Later in the stained, cluttered, and atrocious smelling living room, the housemates (sans xandir who’s in the laboratory) pinch their noses in disgust while sitting on their couches while Abbi’s wearing a gas mask and spanky’s whiffing the putrid aroma with pleasure. Donkey doo doo then enters the living room and sits next to Abbi on the couch.
Donkey doo doo:(curiously towards Abbi) excuse me, why is you wearing a fly mask with an elephant trunk?
Abbi:(politely towards donkey doo doo) with all due respect towards you and your father, I am wearing a gas mask to prevent me from smelling the currently repugnant aroma in the air.
Donkey doo doo:(looks at abbi in confusion) it’s kinda weird for a frog to be wearing a fly mask, ain’t it?
Abbi:(offended) I have no idea why you would think that, but I am not a frog.
Clara:(smiles at donkey doo doo) Abigail’s right. She’s a normal white American girl like all normal girls.
Abbi:(correcting Clara) actually Clara, I am Canadian.
Clara:(gasps in sympathy) oh, you poor thing!
Abbi then puts her hands on her face mask in annoyance. Portly pop soon cheerfully enters the living room.
Portly:(to everyone) alright, y’all!! Lunch is ready for everyone to eat!!
Xandir then angrily walks towards the living room.
Xandir:(confrontational) alright! Who made a huge fucking mess in the laboratory?!
Portly:(chuckles) sorry about that, sparkly boy. My son and I thought that them things in them bottles could be good ingredients for our lunch.
Xandir:(annoyed) my name is xandir!
Abbi:(looks at xandir in shock) wait a minute, this house has a laboratory?!
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) yeah! Xandir, Foxxy, and I use it several times for science, research, and my duties as a doctor several times!
Abbi:(smiles at xandir in anticipation) xandir, if I clean the laboratory, can I use it?
Xandir:(rolls his eyes in resignation) sure, go ahead. Do whatever you want with it but you may want to keep your old war gas mask on because the lab is atrocious! Those donkeys spilled a lot of chemicals on the wall, tables, and floor.
Abbi:(overjoyed) xandir, I can completely assure you that the laboratory will look thoroughly clean after I clean it.
Wooldoor:(cheerfully towards Abbi) wanna see where the lab is?!
Abbi:(politely smiles) I would love to. Thank you, wooldoor.
Wooldoor then enthusiastically grabs Abbi’s hand and drags her to the laboratory by running which surprises her.
Wooldoor:(excited) you’re gonna love being in the lab with us, abbi! We do a lot of fun creative things! Whee!
After abbi and wooldoor leave the living room, portly eagerly leads the rest of the housemates to the kitchen where twelve plates of gray mush with melted Processed cheese on them are on the table. The housemates then cringe as they sit by the table with the plates in front of them.
Clara:(winces at the plate of mush in front of her) what in pray tell did you make?
Portly:(chuckles at Clara in pride) that is a brand new recipe that I made up at the top of my head just today. It’s mainly just ground beef, bbq sauce, and several things from the bottles from that lab.
Xandir:(looks at portly in shock) did you even read the bottles to see if they might possibly be edible or not?
Portly:(cheekily smiles at xandir) no, which means that there might be some surprises in store for you.
The housemates then look at portly in horror.
Spanky:(smiles at portly in excitement) you mean I’m gonna have a surprise shit when I eat this?! Sweet!
Spanky then scarfs down the mush with his fork while the rest of the housemates (sans Clara) hesitantly take their first bite of the mush with their forks. They immediately make a grimace of disgust as soon as they taste it.
Clara:(looks at her wrist like she’s wearing a watch) oh, would you look at the time? I’m so sorry to leave so soon, but I have to do princess duties in my royal home. (Sing-song) ta ta.
Clara then suddenly leaves the kitchen which makes Foxxy glare at her.
Clara:(confessional)(passive aggressively smiles) so I have decided to go to my father’s castle to have an extravagant banquet instead of the inevitably inedible food that our guests made. I would’ve taken Foxxy or little Abigail with me but I was concerned that father might mistake Foxxy for a servant girl and Abigail a Canadian frog. Did I mention that Abigail is a Canadian?
Later, Clara (in an Uber carriage) heads to her father’s kingdom. By the time she reaches the castle, she knocks on the door. Both her father and stepmother open the door.
Stepmother:(kindly smiles at Clara) Clara, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.
Clara and her stepmother then hug each other in joy. After they stop hugging, Clara’s father then walks towards Clara.
The king:(warmly smiles) Clara, my little princess. Your daddy’s happy to see you too.
The king then proceeds to make out with Clara which makes the stepmother look at them in disgust.
Stepmother:(glares at the king in thought) creep…
Later in the dining room, the king, his wife, and Clara are sitting down at the table together.
stepmother:(cordially smiles) so Clara, how’s your time in the drawn together household?
Clara:(smiles at her stepmother) it’s going pretty well. Two new housemates have joined the household.
The king:(snidely points his thumb as his wife) are any one of them as ugly as her?
The stepmother soon glowers at the king.
Clara:(nervously looks at her father and stepmother) well, I wouldn’t consider the two new housemates necessarily ugly. One of them may be an old donkey and the other is a little Canadian girl, but I think they have their own unique qualities.
The royal family then awkwardly proceed to dine on their meals.
Clara:(confessional)(sadly) I thought that dinner with my father and stepmother would be more ideal than potentially eating horrible food made by mr donkey’s overweight son. However, it turned out to have a disappointing outcome.
As the royal family awkwardly continue to eat, the king proceeds to stand up from the table.
The king:(nonchalantly) now if you ladies excuse me, I’m gonna go to my “ballet”.
As the king leaves the dining room, Clara and her stepmother sadly look at each other.
Later, Clara and her stepmother walk out of the doorway from the castle.
Clara:(sadly) so father still goes to his “ballet”?
Stepmother:(bitterly) I’m afraid so. He’d rather go to his shameless harlots than give us the time of day.
Clara:(Concerned) but didn’t father teach me that being or seeing a scantily clad girl is a sin?
Stepmother:(sarcastic) oh sure, he considers all those things a sin if you or I do it but it’s perfectly fine if he does it because he’s the king. Anyway… (kindly smiles at Clara) it’s so wonderful to see you, my darling stepdaughter.
Clara:(tenderly smiles at her stepmother) and it’s so wonderful to see you as well, mom.
Stepmother:(warmly) send all of your roommates my regards. Including your new ones.
Clara:(kindly) I sure will.
Clara and her stepmother then smile and wave at each other as Clara heads inside her carriage before she leaves the castle.
Clara:(confessional) as I was on my way back to the comfort that is the household, I realized that I needed to release my urinal rain. I thought that I would make it in time to release my rain. (Turns gloomy) but alas for some possible sin that I committed, god had a different plan for me.
On her way back to the household, the carriage suddenly stops in a city.
Clara:(worried towards her chauffeur) excuse me, what just happened to the carriage?
Chauffeur:(with a cockney accent) oy sorry, princess. All the horses be having diarrhea. Time will tell when the horses feel ready to go on again.
Clara:(starts to panic) what? But I have to pee right now! I can’t wait that long!
As Clara frantically leaves her carriage, she runs around the city to look for a place to pee.
Clara:(shouts in desperation) hello?! Can any one of you lowly minorities help me look for a place to release my yellow water fountain?!
Everyone in the city soon laugh at her.
Prostitute:(sneers at Clara) why don’t you get one of your servants to piss for ya, princess?
Clara then walks in shame as everyone continues to laugh at her. She then sees a dark vacant alley nearby which prompts her to run towards it to hide. She then looks around the city to make sure that no one else can see her before she walks further down the alley, pulls her underwear down to her ankles, squats down near a brick wall, and starts to pee on the ground. A police officer with a flashlight soon walks towards her.
Police officer:(stern towards Clara) excuse me, miss. What do you think you’re doing in this alley?
Clara:(passive aggressively towards the officer) oh hello, officer. I’m a princess of god and if you just let me go on my way, I will get my father’s servants to deliver a box of a dozen doughnuts for you.
Officer:(offended) you’re going to have to come with me to the station, ma’am.
The officer then pushes the gasping Clara towards the wall, handcuffs her, and leads her to his police car.
Meanwhile in the living room, Foxxy and xandir walk towards mr donkey who’s sitting on his recliner.
Foxxy:(confrontational) mr donkey? Your family’s causing ruckuses in here.
Xandir:(concerned) and they said some insensitive remarks to us.
Mr donkey:(scoffs) you think I don’t know who these nuisances are? Every time they visit my home, I’m the one that has to clean up after them!
Xandir:(reasonable to mr donkey) look, since you’re portly’s father and donkey doo doo’s grandfather, you’re going to have to tell them how you feel about their actions.
Foxxy:(demanding) or else we’ll do it.
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly) alright alright. I’ll handle these jackasses like I always do.
A knock is then heard on the front door which prompts Foxxy walk towards the door, open it and see a police officer with his hand on the ashamed Clara’s shoulder as she’s wearing a black shock collar around her neck.
Police officer:(sternly towards Foxxy) excuse me, ma’am. Is this woman in the purple dress one of your roommates?
Foxxy:(smiles at the police officer in amusement) yeah, she sure is.
Officer: last night, I caught her urinating in the alley. She’s now charged with public indecency and sentenced to live in here in house arrest. It means she’s no longer allowed to be outside this house.
Foxxy:(starts to laugh) man, we’s all did some fucked up shit, but you’s the one that got arrested!
Foxxy then laughs some more which makes the appalled Clara glower at her. As The officer shoves Clara inside the household, he closes the door before Clara walks towards a couch and sits on it in shame. Portly (with a plate of grey food and American cheese on top) then enters the living room through the kitchen and notices Clara sadly sitting on a couch.
Portly:(smiles at Clara in concern) howdy, princess. Why the frowning face?
Clara:(embarrassed) I just got arrested for peeing in an alley and now I can’t leave the premises for any reason.
Portly:(smiles at Clara in assurance.) aw. I’m sorry, girlie. But do you know what’ll cheer your sad pretty little self up? (Puts the plate of gray food on the coffee table in front of Clara) leftovers from my lunch!
Clara then screams in disgust and misery while Foxxy smirks at her and xandir looks at her in concern. Mr donkey then stands up from his recliner and walks towards portly.
Mr donkey:(angrily) portly, you and donkey doo doo have been making too much of a ruckus in both this house and my house! Which means I want you both out right now!
Abbi and wooldoor then enter the living room through the hallway.
Abbi:(smiles in gratitude) wooldoor, I really do appreciate you and xandir for letting me have access to the laboratory.
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) you’re very welcome, new friend!
Portly:(sadly towards mr donkey) well… alright, pappy. If that’s how you feel, then I guess that I‘ll go fetch my son and We’ll leave right now.
Abbi and wooldoor then slowly leave the living room before portly sadly goes upstairs which makes Foxxy and xandir look at him in sympathy. Foxxy and xandir then sadly look at mr donkey.
Mr donkey:(stares at Foxxy and xandir in defense) what? You were the ones who wanted me to do something about them.
Foxxy:(remorseful) we knows. Which is why we’s gotta do something to make this right.
Xandir:(concerned) I think we should visit portly and donkey doo doo to apologize.
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly) alright. Might as well be the better people…
Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey soon leave the household through the front door which makes Clara longingly look at the front door.
Clara:(confessional)(despondent) ever since I got arrested for urinating in the alley, I felt like I was being grounded by my father all over again. Except I live with poorer roommates who have better things to do than be with me.
As Clara sadly remains on the couch, spanky whistles as he carries a porn magazine to the living room and sits by Clara on the couch.
Spanky:(notices Clara) oh. Sorry, princess. I didn’t see ya here.
Clara:(gloomily looks at spanky) well, you’re going to see me in here more often now because I’m now in house arrest.
Spanky:(stifles a laugh) you?! In house arrest?! (Starts To laugh) holy fucking shit!! I don’t know how you out of all of us ended up being in house arrest but wow!
Clara: I’m under house arrest because an officer caught me releasing yellow water out of my well in an alley.
Spanky:(looks at Clara in shock) wow… and you guys call me out for doing that in public all the time.
Clara:(despondent) My carriage broke down on my way back here as I really had to go to the bathroom. I tried to ask other people around for a place to pee but everyone sneered at me. I figured that the last remaining source was that dark alley. Since then, I can’t even go outside just because of one desperate action…
Spanky then starts to look at Clara in sympathy.
Spanky:(gently) say princess… I think there might be a way out of this.
Clara:(hopeful) what is it? Whatever can it be?
Spanky:(smiles at Clara in determination) we’ll settle this in court.
Meanwhile, Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey are outside portly’s cabin by the front door.
Foxxy:(sternly) now mr donkey, you was the one who kicked your son and grandson out. So you’s gonna have to make the first move.
Mr donkey then grunts at Foxxy as he knocks on portly’s door. Portly then sadly opens the door.
Xandir:(condescendingly) mr donkey? Is there something you’d like to say to your son?
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly towards portly) son, I’m… here to make an apology to you for kicking you out.
Foxxy:(remorsefully towards portly) xandir and I also apologize for saying terrible things about you to your poppa.
Portly:(regretful) well, my son and I did make some messes in your house. So we’re for sure sorry for all that.
Xandir:(sincerely towards portly) can you ever forgive us?
Portly:(softly smiles at Foxxy and xandir) sure. I can forgive you both. (Frowns at mr donkey) whereas for you, I have a little something to ask you. Why don’t you ever visit us anymore?
Mr donkey:(enraged) it’s because… (Starts To tear up) because… your southern accent and jolly demeanor reminds me of your mother! Okay?!
Portly:(tears up as well) daddy, I… miss momma too.
Mr donkey:(tearful) it may have been due to old age, but boy do I not spend a single day without missing her. I’m so sorry for not visiting you since her funeral, son!
Portly:(tearfully smiles) you’re all forgiven, daddy! (Spreads his arms out wide) come here!
Mr donkey and portly then tearfully hug which makes Foxxy and xandir smile and tear up as well.
Mr donkey:(sincerely) son, you and donkey doo doo can visit me in this cuckoo reality tv household anytime.
Portly:(sweetly smiles) and you and your hilarious roommates can visit our home anytime too, daddy!
As mr donkey and portly stop hugging each other, they tearfully smile at each other.
Portly:(jovially smiles) so… would you and your two roommates like to come in for a bit?
Mr donkey:(softly smiles) sure.
Xandir:(kindly) we’d love to.
Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey then enter inside portly’s cabin by door.
Meanwhile, spanky and Clara are sitting in the defendant’s seats in court with judge fudge as the judge.
Spanky:(confessional)(dismayed) as Clara and I are fighting for removing her house arrest in court, I realized that we were losing… Hard.
As Clara sits in the defendant’s side of the judge, the blue haired lawyer from the Simpsons approaches her.
Blue haired lawyer:(smarmy) so your highness, due to your royalty, do you think you have the right to get away from any criminal charge just because you’re a princess?
Clara:(hesitantly) well, it might not be just because of my royalty. I might also have the right because I’m a princess of god.
Blue haired lawyer:(passive aggressively) alright. Let me ask you this, princess of god. If you think that you’re holier than everyone else, then how come you made out with three of your roommates alongside your own father without marrying them?
Everyone in court gasps in horror.
Clara:(nervously) um… um…
Blue haired lawyer:(harshly) and what about the fact that you and one of the same roommates that you made out with performed a strip dance in front of your father? Not to mention that you orgasm to car crashes, kept making another one of your roommates sick so that people would acknowledge you for being “nice” when you “take care” of him, ridicule another one of your roommates for her weight, make homophobic and racist slurs at your minority and homosexual roommates, tried to stop one of your roommates from hosting his own children’s show just because it promotes acceptance and tolerance, tortured several cartoon characters including one of your best friends in the mall, and dated two of your most disgusting roommates, captain hero and spanky hamm in the household?
Clara:(sheepishly) well… I…
Judge fudge:(looks at Clara in disapproval) well, that settles it. Princess Clara, what you did was not delicious. I find you, the defendant-
Spanky:(rapidly stands up) wait! Judge!
Judge fudge soon looks at spanky in impatience.
Spanky:(pleading) don’t you see what you’re doing? Sure, this princess may not act like the perfect princess, but she’s certainly the most wholesome roommate that I know. She’s the most prim and proper member of the drawn together household yet she’s the one who gets arrested for something I do in public all the time without serious consequences. So tell me this, judge. Who would you rather put in house arrest? This sweet and racially insensitive princess who made just one mistake out of desperation or someone who might actually be a dangerous criminal who likes to pee on dead bodies for fun?
Captain hero:(in one the audience seats looking at spanky in fear) is he talking about me?
Judge fudge:(puts his hand on his nonexistent chin in thought) hmm… well, mr hamm? You made your point. (Looks at Clara) princess Clara? You are to be released from your house arrest. Case dismissed. (Slams his gavel as everyone else in court leaves. Captain hero then tries to look discreet as he sneaks out of the courtroom.)
Clara:(sincerely walks towards spanky) spanky? Thank you for helping me out today.
Spanky:(dismissively smiles) eh it’s nothing. I just think princesses like you shouldn’t suffer for shit that I normally do.
Spanky:(confessional)(smiles in satisfaction) so life for the princess is now back to normal thanks to the spankster. She now gets to do what any princess wants to do. Play with her animal friends outside while she longs for more.
Later near the pool area, Clara sighs in contentment as she pets her animal friends near her while spanky’s in the kitchen defecating on portly pop’s grey casserole. Clara then smiles at spanky in appreciation which prompts spanky to fondly smile at Clara back.
Later, abbi and wooldoor are tossing a beach ball to each other in the pool while toot’s tanning on one of the pool benches.
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) so… what do you think of mr donkey’s family.
Abbi:(neutrally shrugs) well, as unsanitary and uncouth as they were, they seemed to care about mr donkey.
Wooldoor: did you try any of portly’s cooking.
Abbi:(hesitantly) no. I got nauseous as soon as I smelled it in the fridge. It would seem unhealthy for my stomach as well.
Wooldoor: I tried some of portly’s leftovers. (Holds his stomach in dismay) it tasted okay but it made me poo funny.
Abbi:(concerned) I can see portly’s food having that kind of an affect…
Wooldoor:(gets excited) but on the bright side, we got to learn mr donkey’s first name!
Abbi:(baffled) still, I wonder why his parents would give him that name. I don’t blame him for only wanting to be referred to as “mr donkey”.
Wooldoor:(curiously smiles) so what’s your full name?
Abbi:(gets uneasy) I’m not sure if I feel comfortable enough to reveal my full name to you yet.
Wooldoor:(warmly smiles) if I tell you my full name, would you feel more comfortable?
Abbi:(shrugs) it might.
Wooldoor:(proudly puts his hand on his chest) in that case, missy. My full name… is Wooldoor… jebediah… sockbat.
Abbi:(hesitantly) well, since you’re comfortable enough to reveal your own personal name to me, I may as well return the favor. My full name is… Abigail… robin underdunk.
Toot then overhears Abbi say her full name.
Toot:(looks at abbi in bafflement) your last name is underdunk?
Toot soon bursts out in laughter.
Toot:(amused) that’s the most ridiculous name I’ve ever heard!
Toot then runs back to the kitchen and to the living room.
Toot:(mischievously shouts) hey everybody! Abbi’s last name is underdunk!
The rest of the housemates soon laugh at what toot said.
Spanky:(laughing) isn’t that sideshow bob’s middle name?
As the housemates continue to laugh, abbi and wooldoor overhear them from the pool.
Wooldoor:(looks at abbi in remorse) sorry, abbi.
Abbi:(embarrassed) ugh, this is why I wouldn’t tell just anyone my last name…
END
The Jew producer: hello fanfic readers and welcome to another episode of the change up. In this episode, our new old housemate, Mr Donkey is going to be visited by his hillbilly son and grandson. Meanwhile, our most prudent housemate, Princess Clara gets arrested for public indecency. Drawn together and its characters belong to Dave jeser and Matt Silverstein, double hemm, roughdraft studios, and comedy partners. Abbi, Mr donkey, Portly pop, and Donkey doo doo are this author’s original characters. Enjoy.
Mr Donkey:(confessional)(glowers at the camera) ever since I joined this household, I’ve been surrounded by no good young whippersnappers! If that’s not enough, I keep getting pestered by that annoying yellow thing and that orange rat with language I don’t even understand!
In the household living room, Mr Donkey (sitting on his recliner) is flipping channels on the tv with his remote when Wooldoor and Ling Ling eagerly walk toward him.
Wooldoor:(Cheerfully waves) hi, Mr Donkey!
Mr Donkey soon glares and grunts at Wooldoor and Ling Ling.
Ling Ling:(Japorean) Ring Ring and Woordool have a question to ask you. What is your family like?
Wooldoor: Yeah, What were your parents like? Are ya married? Do you have any little donkeys? Do you have any GRAND donkeys?
Ling Ling:(Japorean) and if you have any family members, are any one of them honorable? (Turns lecherous) or available?
Mr Donkey:(angrily) None of this is any one of your businesses! So scram!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(sadly looks down) Fine. Have it your way.
Ling Ling and Wooldoor sadly walk away from Mr Donkey.
The Jew producer:(Announcing through the speakers) Attention, Housemates! Someone’s relatives will be visiting the household.
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then look at each other in wonder.
Foxxy:(confessional)(clenches her fists in excitement) baby, I hopes that it’s Foxxy’s poppa! Foxxy hasn’t seen him since that foster care episode!
Clara:(confessional)(hopefully smiles) I hope that it’s father who’s visiting and not my super retarded cousin, bleh.
Mr donkey:(confessional)(bitterly) my son and grandson BETTER not be visiting this hell hole! Them visiting this household would make my already godawful life worse!
Wooldoor:(confessional)(excited) I hope it’s one of MY relatives that’s visiting! (Then looks down in sadness) oh yeah, that’s right. My entire family died from the sockbat genocide…
Abbi(with blue hair):(smiles in unease) I sincerely hope that it’s just my grandmother that is visiting and not my parents. I love them both but I’m not sure how they’ll react if they find out that they inadvertently sent me to be in a reality television show.
Ling Ling:(confessional)(japorean)(smiles) ring ring hopes that father’s visiting! I can’t wait to tell him how much I have improved as a battle monster!
Later, the housemates stand outside of the household in the doorway waiting for the visiting relatives. A dark blue pick up truck then arrives and parks in the driveway across from them.
Mr donkey:(looks at the truck in horror) are you fucking shitting me?!
An overweight grey donkey with a black mane wearing a white tank top and long blue jeans and a small grey donkey with a black mane wearing a red cap, red short sleeved t-shirt, and blue pants walk out of the truck and walk toward the housemates.
Larger donkey:(jovially smiles while speaking with a southern accent) howdy y’all. I is portly pop, your donkey roommate’s son. Puts his arm around the smaller donkey’s shoulder) this is my son, donkey doo doo. (Sees mr donkey which prompts him to walk over to him and give him a hug) and how’s my daddy doing?!
Mr donkey sourly grunts in response.
Portly:(chuckles at mr donkey as he stops hugging him) I see you’re still your normal cranky self. Am I right? (Notices the rest of the housemates) and who are these fine looking people that you’re living with?
Hero:(lecherously towards portly and his son) hi, sexy creatures. Name’s captain hero and I think you both look fine too…
The annoyed Foxxy then pushes captain hero away from portly and his son.
Foxxy:(politely towards portly and his son) hi. I’s Foxxy love. It’s nice to meet y’all.
Wooldoor:(cheerfully chimes in) she’s the least retarded one in our group!
Clara:(stern) wooldoor! That’s a very rude word to say in front of our guests!
Foxxy:(rolls her eyes at Clara) says the girl who calls her cousin a retard on a regular basis.
Clara:(ignores Foxxy while she cordially approaches the guests) hello, cattle folk. I’m princess Clara and I’m the most wholesome of our group.
Foxxy:(mutters to herself in annoyance) whatever the fuck helps her sleep at night…
Xandir:(jovially towards portly and his son) hi. I’m xandir. It’s nice to meet you.
Toot:(indifferently towards portly and his son) yeah. Hi. I’m toot as if anyone cares.
Spanky:(waves at the guests in boredom) hi. The name’s spanky.
Wooldoor:(enthusiastically waves at the guests) hi, new friends! I’m Wooldoor sockbat and Ling Ling and I are mr donkey’s biggest fans!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(joyfully bows to portly and his son) it’s a great honor to meet family of my comedy idol.
Abbi:(formally towards portly and his son) hello, gentlemen. I’m Abbi. It’s very nice to meet you.
Portly:(smiles) it’s very nice to meet y’all. (eagerly spreads his arms) well, what’re you guys waiting for? Lets all head in!
The housemates and donkey guests all head inside the household.
Later in the living room, portly and donkey doo doo are sitting in a couch with Wooldoor and Ling Ling eagerly sitting next to them as portly’s showing them a family album. The rest of the housemates sit on the other couch and chairs as they watch the donkey guests in curiosity and mr donkey’s glaring at his donkey family as he’s sitting on his recliner.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(eagerly points at one of the pictures in the album) is that a picture of mistel donkey when he was young?
Portly:(smiles at ling ling) why, that’s a picture of my daddy when he was three. He used to go all doody everywhere on his pasture.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(fascinated) wow. My father would never let me do that.
Wooldoor(bounces in anticipation) tell us more about your daddy!!
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(excited) yeah! Tell us!
Portly:(chuckles at ling ling and wooldoor) you guys are big fans of my daddy, aren’t ya?
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then smile and nod at portly in confirmation.
Portly:(genially smiles) okay, here’s another funny story about him. One time when my daddy, momma, and I went to a family friend’s wedding, daddy ate a broccoli salad just before we left home. By the time the priest says “if anyone doesn’t want this couple to get married, speak now or forever hold your piece.”, my daddy just lets out this huge fart that sounds like a cannon.
Captain hero, toot, spanky, ling ling, and wooldoor then burst out in laughter while Foxxy, Clara, xandir, and abbi look at the donkeys in bafflement and mr donkey glower at portly in rage.
Ling Ling:(Japorean)(eagerly smiles at portly) poltry pop, out of curiosity, what is mistel donkey’s first name?
Wooldoor:(enthusiastically) ooh! Please tell us his name! Tell us!
Mr donkey:(growls at portly in threat) portly, don’t you fucking dare!
Portly:(cheerfully) well, since you two beavers are so eager to know, my daddy’s first name is “jackass”!
Mr donkey:(embarrassed and furious) portly, you fucking blabber mouth!!
Ling Ling and Wooldoor then gasp in excitement while Abbi looks at the donkeys in bafflement and the rest of the housemates laugh.
Abbi:(befuddled) jackass?
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) that’s mr donkey’s first name! Isn’t it great?!
Mr donkey:(angrily) no, it’s not! It’s an embarrassment!
Portly:(smiles at mr donkey in assurance) aw, daddy, your first name’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Wooldoor:(obliviously smiles at mr donkey) yeah, it’s who you are!
Spanky:(laughing) I’ll say!
Most of the housemates then laugh at mr donkey again.
Spanky:(confessional)(laughing) man, having that old donkey’s relatives around is great! They’re making the household smell rancid, make food that really makes me take disgusting shits, and say hilariously offensive things to people!
Later in the stained, cluttered, and atrocious smelling living room, the housemates (sans xandir who’s in the laboratory) pinch their noses in disgust while sitting on their couches while Abbi’s wearing a gas mask and spanky’s whiffing the putrid aroma with pleasure. Donkey doo doo then enters the living room and sits next to Abbi on the couch.
Donkey doo doo:(curiously towards Abbi) excuse me, why is you wearing a fly mask with an elephant trunk?
Abbi:(politely towards donkey doo doo) with all due respect towards you and your father, I am wearing a gas mask to prevent me from smelling the currently repugnant aroma in the air.
Donkey doo doo:(looks at abbi in confusion) it’s kinda weird for a frog to be wearing a fly mask, ain’t it?
Abbi:(offended) I have no idea why you would think that, but I am not a frog.
Clara:(smiles at donkey doo doo) Abigail’s right. She’s a normal white American girl like all normal girls.
Abbi:(correcting Clara) actually Clara, I am Canadian.
Clara:(gasps in sympathy) oh, you poor thing!
Abbi then puts her hands on her face mask in annoyance. Portly pop soon cheerfully enters the living room.
Portly:(to everyone) alright, y’all!! Lunch is ready for everyone to eat!!
Xandir then angrily walks towards the living room.
Xandir:(confrontational) alright! Who made a huge fucking mess in the laboratory?!
Portly:(chuckles) sorry about that, sparkly boy. My son and I thought that them things in them bottles could be good ingredients for our lunch.
Xandir:(annoyed) my name is xandir!
Abbi:(looks at xandir in shock) wait a minute, this house has a laboratory?!
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) yeah! Xandir, Foxxy, and I use it several times for science, research, and my duties as a doctor several times!
Abbi:(smiles at xandir in anticipation) xandir, if I clean the laboratory, can I use it?
Xandir:(rolls his eyes in resignation) sure, go ahead. Do whatever you want with it but you may want to keep your old war gas mask on because the lab is atrocious! Those donkeys spilled a lot of chemicals on the wall, tables, and floor.
Abbi:(overjoyed) xandir, I can completely assure you that the laboratory will look thoroughly clean after I clean it.
Wooldoor:(cheerfully towards Abbi) wanna see where the lab is?!
Abbi:(politely smiles) I would love to. Thank you, wooldoor.
Wooldoor then enthusiastically grabs Abbi’s hand and drags her to the laboratory by running which surprises her.
Wooldoor:(excited) you’re gonna love being in the lab with us, abbi! We do a lot of fun creative things! Whee!
After abbi and wooldoor leave the living room, portly eagerly leads the rest of the housemates to the kitchen where twelve plates of gray mush with melted Processed cheese on them are on the table. The housemates then cringe as they sit by the table with the plates in front of them.
Clara:(winces at the plate of mush in front of her) what in pray tell did you make?
Portly:(chuckles at Clara in pride) that is a brand new recipe that I made up at the top of my head just today. It’s mainly just ground beef, bbq sauce, and several things from the bottles from that lab.
Xandir:(looks at portly in shock) did you even read the bottles to see if they might possibly be edible or not?
Portly:(cheekily smiles at xandir) no, which means that there might be some surprises in store for you.
The housemates then look at portly in horror.
Spanky:(smiles at portly in excitement) you mean I’m gonna have a surprise shit when I eat this?! Sweet!
Spanky then scarfs down the mush with his fork while the rest of the housemates (sans Clara) hesitantly take their first bite of the mush with their forks. They immediately make a grimace of disgust as soon as they taste it.
Clara:(looks at her wrist like she’s wearing a watch) oh, would you look at the time? I’m so sorry to leave so soon, but I have to do princess duties in my royal home. (Sing-song) ta ta.
Clara then suddenly leaves the kitchen which makes Foxxy glare at her.
Clara:(confessional)(passive aggressively smiles) so I have decided to go to my father’s castle to have an extravagant banquet instead of the inevitably inedible food that our guests made. I would’ve taken Foxxy or little Abigail with me but I was concerned that father might mistake Foxxy for a servant girl and Abigail a Canadian frog. Did I mention that Abigail is a Canadian?
Later, Clara (in an Uber carriage) heads to her father’s kingdom. By the time she reaches the castle, she knocks on the door. Both her father and stepmother open the door.
Stepmother:(kindly smiles at Clara) Clara, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.
Clara and her stepmother then hug each other in joy. After they stop hugging, Clara’s father then walks towards Clara.
The king:(warmly smiles) Clara, my little princess. Your daddy’s happy to see you too.
The king then proceeds to make out with Clara which makes the stepmother look at them in disgust.
Stepmother:(glares at the king in thought) creep…
Later in the dining room, the king, his wife, and Clara are sitting down at the table together.
stepmother:(cordially smiles) so Clara, how’s your time in the drawn together household?
Clara:(smiles at her stepmother) it’s going pretty well. Two new housemates have joined the household.
The king:(snidely points his thumb as his wife) are any one of them as ugly as her?
The stepmother soon glowers at the king.
Clara:(nervously looks at her father and stepmother) well, I wouldn’t consider the two new housemates necessarily ugly. One of them may be an old donkey and the other is a little Canadian girl, but I think they have their own unique qualities.
The royal family then awkwardly proceed to dine on their meals.
Clara:(confessional)(sadly) I thought that dinner with my father and stepmother would be more ideal than potentially eating horrible food made by mr donkey’s overweight son. However, it turned out to have a disappointing outcome.
As the royal family awkwardly continue to eat, the king proceeds to stand up from the table.
The king:(nonchalantly) now if you ladies excuse me, I’m gonna go to my “ballet”.
As the king leaves the dining room, Clara and her stepmother sadly look at each other.
Later, Clara and her stepmother walk out of the doorway from the castle.
Clara:(sadly) so father still goes to his “ballet”?
Stepmother:(bitterly) I’m afraid so. He’d rather go to his shameless harlots than give us the time of day.
Clara:(Concerned) but didn’t father teach me that being or seeing a scantily clad girl is a sin?
Stepmother:(sarcastic) oh sure, he considers all those things a sin if you or I do it but it’s perfectly fine if he does it because he’s the king. Anyway… (kindly smiles at Clara) it’s so wonderful to see you, my darling stepdaughter.
Clara:(tenderly smiles at her stepmother) and it’s so wonderful to see you as well, mom.
Stepmother:(warmly) send all of your roommates my regards. Including your new ones.
Clara:(kindly) I sure will.
Clara and her stepmother then smile and wave at each other as Clara heads inside her carriage before she leaves the castle.
Clara:(confessional) as I was on my way back to the comfort that is the household, I realized that I needed to release my urinal rain. I thought that I would make it in time to release my rain. (Turns gloomy) but alas for some possible sin that I committed, god had a different plan for me.
On her way back to the household, the carriage suddenly stops in a city.
Clara:(worried towards her chauffeur) excuse me, what just happened to the carriage?
Chauffeur:(with a cockney accent) oy sorry, princess. All the horses be having diarrhea. Time will tell when the horses feel ready to go on again.
Clara:(starts to panic) what? But I have to pee right now! I can’t wait that long!
As Clara frantically leaves her carriage, she runs around the city to look for a place to pee.
Clara:(shouts in desperation) hello?! Can any one of you lowly minorities help me look for a place to release my yellow water fountain?!
Everyone in the city soon laugh at her.
Prostitute:(sneers at Clara) why don’t you get one of your servants to piss for ya, princess?
Clara then walks in shame as everyone continues to laugh at her. She then sees a dark vacant alley nearby which prompts her to run towards it to hide. She then looks around the city to make sure that no one else can see her before she walks further down the alley, pulls her underwear down to her ankles, squats down near a brick wall, and starts to pee on the ground. A police officer with a flashlight soon walks towards her.
Police officer:(stern towards Clara) excuse me, miss. What do you think you’re doing in this alley?
Clara:(passive aggressively towards the officer) oh hello, officer. I’m a princess of god and if you just let me go on my way, I will get my father’s servants to deliver a box of a dozen doughnuts for you.
Officer:(offended) you’re going to have to come with me to the station, ma’am.
The officer then pushes the gasping Clara towards the wall, handcuffs her, and leads her to his police car.
Meanwhile in the living room, Foxxy and xandir walk towards mr donkey who’s sitting on his recliner.
Foxxy:(confrontational) mr donkey? Your family’s causing ruckuses in here.
Xandir:(concerned) and they said some insensitive remarks to us.
Mr donkey:(scoffs) you think I don’t know who these nuisances are? Every time they visit my home, I’m the one that has to clean up after them!
Xandir:(reasonable to mr donkey) look, since you’re portly’s father and donkey doo doo’s grandfather, you’re going to have to tell them how you feel about their actions.
Foxxy:(demanding) or else we’ll do it.
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly) alright alright. I’ll handle these jackasses like I always do.
A knock is then heard on the front door which prompts Foxxy walk towards the door, open it and see a police officer with his hand on the ashamed Clara’s shoulder as she’s wearing a black shock collar around her neck.
Police officer:(sternly towards Foxxy) excuse me, ma’am. Is this woman in the purple dress one of your roommates?
Foxxy:(smiles at the police officer in amusement) yeah, she sure is.
Officer: last night, I caught her urinating in the alley. She’s now charged with public indecency and sentenced to live in here in house arrest. It means she’s no longer allowed to be outside this house.
Foxxy:(starts to laugh) man, we’s all did some fucked up shit, but you’s the one that got arrested!
Foxxy then laughs some more which makes the appalled Clara glower at her. As The officer shoves Clara inside the household, he closes the door before Clara walks towards a couch and sits on it in shame. Portly (with a plate of grey food and American cheese on top) then enters the living room through the kitchen and notices Clara sadly sitting on a couch.
Portly:(smiles at Clara in concern) howdy, princess. Why the frowning face?
Clara:(embarrassed) I just got arrested for peeing in an alley and now I can’t leave the premises for any reason.
Portly:(smiles at Clara in assurance.) aw. I’m sorry, girlie. But do you know what’ll cheer your sad pretty little self up? (Puts the plate of gray food on the coffee table in front of Clara) leftovers from my lunch!
Clara then screams in disgust and misery while Foxxy smirks at her and xandir looks at her in concern. Mr donkey then stands up from his recliner and walks towards portly.
Mr donkey:(angrily) portly, you and donkey doo doo have been making too much of a ruckus in both this house and my house! Which means I want you both out right now!
Abbi and wooldoor then enter the living room through the hallway.
Abbi:(smiles in gratitude) wooldoor, I really do appreciate you and xandir for letting me have access to the laboratory.
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) you’re very welcome, new friend!
Portly:(sadly towards mr donkey) well… alright, pappy. If that’s how you feel, then I guess that I‘ll go fetch my son and We’ll leave right now.
Abbi and wooldoor then slowly leave the living room before portly sadly goes upstairs which makes Foxxy and xandir look at him in sympathy. Foxxy and xandir then sadly look at mr donkey.
Mr donkey:(stares at Foxxy and xandir in defense) what? You were the ones who wanted me to do something about them.
Foxxy:(remorseful) we knows. Which is why we’s gotta do something to make this right.
Xandir:(concerned) I think we should visit portly and donkey doo doo to apologize.
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly) alright. Might as well be the better people…
Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey soon leave the household through the front door which makes Clara longingly look at the front door.
Clara:(confessional)(despondent) ever since I got arrested for urinating in the alley, I felt like I was being grounded by my father all over again. Except I live with poorer roommates who have better things to do than be with me.
As Clara sadly remains on the couch, spanky whistles as he carries a porn magazine to the living room and sits by Clara on the couch.
Spanky:(notices Clara) oh. Sorry, princess. I didn’t see ya here.
Clara:(gloomily looks at spanky) well, you’re going to see me in here more often now because I’m now in house arrest.
Spanky:(stifles a laugh) you?! In house arrest?! (Starts To laugh) holy fucking shit!! I don’t know how you out of all of us ended up being in house arrest but wow!
Clara: I’m under house arrest because an officer caught me releasing yellow water out of my well in an alley.
Spanky:(looks at Clara in shock) wow… and you guys call me out for doing that in public all the time.
Clara:(despondent) My carriage broke down on my way back here as I really had to go to the bathroom. I tried to ask other people around for a place to pee but everyone sneered at me. I figured that the last remaining source was that dark alley. Since then, I can’t even go outside just because of one desperate action…
Spanky then starts to look at Clara in sympathy.
Spanky:(gently) say princess… I think there might be a way out of this.
Clara:(hopeful) what is it? Whatever can it be?
Spanky:(smiles at Clara in determination) we’ll settle this in court.
Meanwhile, Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey are outside portly’s cabin by the front door.
Foxxy:(sternly) now mr donkey, you was the one who kicked your son and grandson out. So you’s gonna have to make the first move.
Mr donkey then grunts at Foxxy as he knocks on portly’s door. Portly then sadly opens the door.
Xandir:(condescendingly) mr donkey? Is there something you’d like to say to your son?
Mr donkey:(begrudgingly towards portly) son, I’m… here to make an apology to you for kicking you out.
Foxxy:(remorsefully towards portly) xandir and I also apologize for saying terrible things about you to your poppa.
Portly:(regretful) well, my son and I did make some messes in your house. So we’re for sure sorry for all that.
Xandir:(sincerely towards portly) can you ever forgive us?
Portly:(softly smiles at Foxxy and xandir) sure. I can forgive you both. (Frowns at mr donkey) whereas for you, I have a little something to ask you. Why don’t you ever visit us anymore?
Mr donkey:(enraged) it’s because… (Starts To tear up) because… your southern accent and jolly demeanor reminds me of your mother! Okay?!
Portly:(tears up as well) daddy, I… miss momma too.
Mr donkey:(tearful) it may have been due to old age, but boy do I not spend a single day without missing her. I’m so sorry for not visiting you since her funeral, son!
Portly:(tearfully smiles) you’re all forgiven, daddy! (Spreads his arms out wide) come here!
Mr donkey and portly then tearfully hug which makes Foxxy and xandir smile and tear up as well.
Mr donkey:(sincerely) son, you and donkey doo doo can visit me in this cuckoo reality tv household anytime.
Portly:(sweetly smiles) and you and your hilarious roommates can visit our home anytime too, daddy!
As mr donkey and portly stop hugging each other, they tearfully smile at each other.
Portly:(jovially smiles) so… would you and your two roommates like to come in for a bit?
Mr donkey:(softly smiles) sure.
Xandir:(kindly) we’d love to.
Foxxy, xandir, And mr donkey then enter inside portly’s cabin by door.
Meanwhile, spanky and Clara are sitting in the defendant’s seats in court with judge fudge as the judge.
Spanky:(confessional)(dismayed) as Clara and I are fighting for removing her house arrest in court, I realized that we were losing… Hard.
As Clara sits in the defendant’s side of the judge, the blue haired lawyer from the Simpsons approaches her.
Blue haired lawyer:(smarmy) so your highness, due to your royalty, do you think you have the right to get away from any criminal charge just because you’re a princess?
Clara:(hesitantly) well, it might not be just because of my royalty. I might also have the right because I’m a princess of god.
Blue haired lawyer:(passive aggressively) alright. Let me ask you this, princess of god. If you think that you’re holier than everyone else, then how come you made out with three of your roommates alongside your own father without marrying them?
Everyone in court gasps in horror.
Clara:(nervously) um… um…
Blue haired lawyer:(harshly) and what about the fact that you and one of the same roommates that you made out with performed a strip dance in front of your father? Not to mention that you orgasm to car crashes, kept making another one of your roommates sick so that people would acknowledge you for being “nice” when you “take care” of him, ridicule another one of your roommates for her weight, make homophobic and racist slurs at your minority and homosexual roommates, tried to stop one of your roommates from hosting his own children’s show just because it promotes acceptance and tolerance, tortured several cartoon characters including one of your best friends in the mall, and dated two of your most disgusting roommates, captain hero and spanky hamm in the household?
Clara:(sheepishly) well… I…
Judge fudge:(looks at Clara in disapproval) well, that settles it. Princess Clara, what you did was not delicious. I find you, the defendant-
Spanky:(rapidly stands up) wait! Judge!
Judge fudge soon looks at spanky in impatience.
Spanky:(pleading) don’t you see what you’re doing? Sure, this princess may not act like the perfect princess, but she’s certainly the most wholesome roommate that I know. She’s the most prim and proper member of the drawn together household yet she’s the one who gets arrested for something I do in public all the time without serious consequences. So tell me this, judge. Who would you rather put in house arrest? This sweet and racially insensitive princess who made just one mistake out of desperation or someone who might actually be a dangerous criminal who likes to pee on dead bodies for fun?
Captain hero:(in one the audience seats looking at spanky in fear) is he talking about me?
Judge fudge:(puts his hand on his nonexistent chin in thought) hmm… well, mr hamm? You made your point. (Looks at Clara) princess Clara? You are to be released from your house arrest. Case dismissed. (Slams his gavel as everyone else in court leaves. Captain hero then tries to look discreet as he sneaks out of the courtroom.)
Clara:(sincerely walks towards spanky) spanky? Thank you for helping me out today.
Spanky:(dismissively smiles) eh it’s nothing. I just think princesses like you shouldn’t suffer for shit that I normally do.
Spanky:(confessional)(smiles in satisfaction) so life for the princess is now back to normal thanks to the spankster. She now gets to do what any princess wants to do. Play with her animal friends outside while she longs for more.
Later near the pool area, Clara sighs in contentment as she pets her animal friends near her while spanky’s in the kitchen defecating on portly pop’s grey casserole. Clara then smiles at spanky in appreciation which prompts spanky to fondly smile at Clara back.
Later, abbi and wooldoor are tossing a beach ball to each other in the pool while toot’s tanning on one of the pool benches.
Wooldoor:(smiles at abbi) so… what do you think of mr donkey’s family.
Abbi:(neutrally shrugs) well, as unsanitary and uncouth as they were, they seemed to care about mr donkey.
Wooldoor: did you try any of portly’s cooking.
Abbi:(hesitantly) no. I got nauseous as soon as I smelled it in the fridge. It would seem unhealthy for my stomach as well.
Wooldoor: I tried some of portly’s leftovers. (Holds his stomach in dismay) it tasted okay but it made me poo funny.
Abbi:(concerned) I can see portly’s food having that kind of an affect…
Wooldoor:(gets excited) but on the bright side, we got to learn mr donkey’s first name!
Abbi:(baffled) still, I wonder why his parents would give him that name. I don’t blame him for only wanting to be referred to as “mr donkey”.
Wooldoor:(curiously smiles) so what’s your full name?
Abbi:(gets uneasy) I’m not sure if I feel comfortable enough to reveal my full name to you yet.
Wooldoor:(warmly smiles) if I tell you my full name, would you feel more comfortable?
Abbi:(shrugs) it might.
Wooldoor:(proudly puts his hand on his chest) in that case, missy. My full name… is Wooldoor… jebediah… sockbat.
Abbi:(hesitantly) well, since you’re comfortable enough to reveal your own personal name to me, I may as well return the favor. My full name is… Abigail… robin underdunk.
Toot then overhears Abbi say her full name.
Toot:(looks at abbi in bafflement) your last name is underdunk?
Toot soon bursts out in laughter.
Toot:(amused) that’s the most ridiculous name I’ve ever heard!
Toot then runs back to the kitchen and to the living room.
Toot:(mischievously shouts) hey everybody! Abbi’s last name is underdunk!
The rest of the housemates soon laugh at what toot said.
Spanky:(laughing) isn’t that sideshow bob’s middle name?
As the housemates continue to laugh, abbi and wooldoor overhear them from the pool.
Wooldoor:(looks at abbi in remorse) sorry, abbi.
Abbi:(embarrassed) ugh, this is why I wouldn’t tell just anyone my last name…
END